Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That\'s relativity.

Pretty women make us buy beer. Ugly women make us drink beer.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Don\'t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals when their cheery effect is needed.

Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up.